This summer has been so so fun. It has been so good. But it wasn’t what I thought it would be. I thought Chaz would get a job months ago and I thought we would move to some new, nice house. I thought we might be living out of state having an adventure and experiencing new things.
We are still here though! Chaz is at his same job and we are in our same house. I’ve spent some time feeling frustrated about all of this. It is hard to be rejected and disappointed sometimes.
I am currently 39 weeks pregnant and I thought I would have this baby a little early. I thought that she would come quick and easy- maybe I thought that because the whole job thing isn’t coming that way and I felt like we deserved something easy?? I don’t know.
I’m learning that life is not like that. I’m being induced today and that is disappointing because I had pictured labor and delivery coming naturally. I didn’t go into labor when the dr. Stripped my membranes but it caused me a lot of pain. That is not what I thought would happen.
Last night we told the kids they would meet the baby tomorrow and they kissed my tummy and said, “see you tomorrow!” Then Boston woke up a couple of hours later throwing up. We were up most of the night with him. I was about to call and cancel my induction but he acted better in the morning so we decided to do it still. That is not how I pictured the night before our induction going!
I have prayed and pleaded for so many things lately. Things that seems so right and good. I have realized that maybe God is teaching me something. I think he is teaching me to trust him and his will and timing. I think he is teaching me to change my expectations and be grateful for the good that I do have. Life is not perfect. It is not easy. But it is so wonderful.
This summer I fell in love with audiobooks and podcasts. One of my favorite things to do when I put the kids down is to take the dogs on a long walk while I listen. I watch the sunset and smell the smells of summer like grass and alfalfa. I love to hear people’s ideas and experiences.
I’m so grateful for that walking path by our house. I go on that almost every single day and it provides such a release for me. I’m grateful for a healthy pregnancy and that I’ve been able to exercise. I’m grateful for my cute, sweet kids. They bring so much joy. Also stress and heartache and anxiety but we will just talk about the joy 😉.
Things haven't gone how I thought they would- But I'm grateful for that.
God is so good.
